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Funny Kids Jokes
Smile about these funny kids jokes, and some other silly kids sayings that children say. These ones are different from my previous page,
Kids Say the Darndest Things.
This page offers a collection of funny kids jokes, when kids say the cutest things about the things in life. Enjoy!
So please scroll down for funny kids jokes.
Funny Kids Jokes I got in my email
Dead or not dead
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.
'You did WHAT???' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move.'
~~~~~
In Remembrance of
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
~~~~~
Funny Kids Jokes: Bedtime Stories
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
'Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice;
'The big sissy.'
~~~~~
 
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Some more funny Kids Jokes
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..... 'Daad....'
'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later; 'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to spank me,can you bring a drink of water?
~~~~~Please scroll down for some more kids jokes...
Scroll down to read the story of the two troublesmakers:
the best of kids jokes is saved for the last
Funny Kids Jokes: Education
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
~~~~~
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, 'I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
~~~~~
Here are some funny kids jokes made of famous proverbs
One day, a third grade teacher decided to do an exercise with her class in the knowledge of proverbs. She presented her students with the first half of the proverbs and asked them to complete the second half. Now, proverbs in itself are nice little bits of wisdom. But you will be surprised to read what these young minds have come up with. Here are the top ten. Enjoy!
1. Don’t change horses.....
until they stop running.
2. Strike while the.....
bug is close.
3. It’s always darkest before.....
Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of.....
termites.
5. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and...
You have to blow your nose.
6. Don’t bite the hand that.....
looks dirty.
7. No news is.....
impossible
8. You can’t teach an old dog new.....
Math
9. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll.....
stink in the morning.
10. An idle mind is.....
the best way to relax.
For the rest of the exercise, see this gem of a website,
http://letslaugh.net/quotes-and-inspiration/1st-graders-complete-proverbs-with-amazing-results/
Here are funny quotes from first graders by a first grade teacher
Two Trouble Makers
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.
So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, and the older boy was to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he gave no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question, "Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,
"This time we are in real BIG trouble! God is missing and they think we did it!"
Source: www.ahajokes.com
If you wish to watch some cute videos from YouTube, you can follow this link to
funny kids videos
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