Funny Facebook Quotes to Update Your Facebook Status

Here are some funny facebook quotes to update your facebook status; if you have a change in relationship, family, or you need romantic quotes for your new love, or even quotes to announce your successes, scroll through this site and you'll find what you need. You can also contribute your own funny facebook quotes at the end of this page.

Let's start with a nice quote from Benjamin Franklin that you can copy paste to your facebook wall, but give credit to the author:

"Who is wise? He that learns from everyone.
Who is powerful? He that governs his passions.
Who is rich? He that is content.
Who is that? Nobody."- Benjamin Franklin

Send your friends funny text messages

Funny facebook quotes about relations

By unknown authors:

"There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart." -

"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected."

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."

"Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes."

"Only one guy is worth your tears, and the guy that is wont make you cry."

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left"

"To the world you are one person, but to one person you can be the world."

Funny facebook quotes about love and marriage

Ambrose Bierce -
"Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage."

Henry David Thoreau - "There is no remedy for love but to love more."

George Bernard Shaw - "It is most unwise for people in love to marry."

Mae West - "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."

Henry Youngman -
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."

Albert Einstein -"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."

Blaise Pascal - "The heart has its reasons which reason knows not of."

Ralph Waldo Emerson - "All mankind loves a lover."

Gore Vidal - "Never have children, only grandchildren."

"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying."

Share a Funny Quote or Short Joke

Do you have a funny quote, or a funny cartoon drawn by yourself? We - that's me and all visitors of this website - love to hear about it. On this page you can share your humor with us. We love funny quotes or clean jokes. Feel free to share!

What Other Visitors Have Said

About dolphins and people Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them ...

colour game pink=love
red=cute
yellow= honest
green=good friends
blue=friend forever
orange=i like you
black=i hate you

It's like... its like everyone is still in grade school...like really you get called a name..you tell the teacher...then you get bullying cause you snitched...the cycle ...

Math is so stupid... Math is so stupid. Every problem is like "If I have 30 chocolate bars and I eat 29, What do I have?" Oh I don't know. Diabetes maybe?

Top 10 Funny Facebook Quotes 10. "If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner." - H.S. Leigh

9. "Some men inherit money, some earn it, and some are lawyers." - Anonymous
...

Best Friends You cry, I cry
You hurt, I hurt
You laugh, I laugh
You jump off a bridge, i will miss your emails

princesses i think they should make a hairless barbie so girls with cancer can feel beautiful..

So True "Perfection is not for me."

awkward moment That awkward moment when you know something but you don’t know how to explain it.

i smurf you i smurf you :)

privacy. If you put your business out on the sidewalk, someone else will come by and put it in the street.

A Good Boyfriend(: A Good Boyfriend will never want to change anything about you except for your last name.

Fake; made in China You're so fake i bet 'Made in China' is written on the bottom of your foot.

happyness Everybody gets a shot at happyness, but it's whether or not you have the guts to pull the trigger that really counts.

Grandma and Grampa Granpa:i'm going to buy a cat
Grampa:oh no the cat ran away
GRandma:where's the cat
Grampa: i don't know what cat
Gradma:the one u were just suppose ...

Facebook grand merge Wants to merge: MySpace, Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter and call it, MY FACE YOU TWIT

true or false?!?! Better hate me for who I am than like me for someone I'm not!

love quote "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to be loved in return."

Life Is Great Life is a one way road..where u can see back but cannot go back...so don't miss anything...enjoy every second, moment and day of life.-Mugal Arasan

Its About Girls Quote The Real Impression about girls is: You can't live with them, but you can't live without them - Mugal Arasan

Cute: a girl's excuse Cute: it is a girl's excuse for telling a guy he reminds her of a puppy or a kitten when you know she is covering up the truth that she likes you.

Laziness Joke I FEEL LIKE GETTING SOMETHING DONE TODAY SO I`LL JUST SIT HERE UNTIL THAT FEELING LEAVES

Love is blind ...pictures Love is blind
be very kind
when i kiss you
please don't mind

A man's life touched by woman "A man's life remains sailing smoothly until it is touched by storm like woman."

bandar Hi,
Like the funny quotes
Shahid

the limits -cchris brownz. The sky is the limit and I'm laughing at gravity

life is like a camera Life is like a camera....focus only on what is important and you will capture it perfectly.

Play The Moments; Pause The Memories; Stop The Pain; Rewind ...

bridges never burn a bridge until you have crossed it.

Dont Be Silly ! Louise: Is Colour Blind And trying To Do A Rubix Cube,, Could Take A While :L

So painful “There's nothing worse than meaning nothing to the person who means everything to you” - Author Unknown

More quotes for facebook status about love

Funny Facebook Quotes about personalities:

"He who is full of himself, is likely to be quite empty." - Unknown Author

"Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours." - Benjamin Disraeli

"If you think education is expensive - try ignorance." - Derek Bok

"Resolve to be thyself." - Matthew Arnold

"Idiot: a member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. - Ambrose Bierce

"You can't believe some people, even when they swear they are lying." - unknown

"If you command wisely, you'll be obeyed cheerfully." - Thomas Fuller

"The opinion of the majority is not the final proof of what is right." - Schiller

Funny facebook quotes about life

"I thought I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure."

"I've heard about the evils of drinking beer, so I gave up reading."

"Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean" (against doors, tables, walls).

"Don't believe everything you think."

"I don't think, therefore I am not."

"When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS."

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you."

"It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job,it's a depression when you lose yours."

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."

"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice." -Cherokee Expression

"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have." - Thomas Jefferson

"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example." -Mark Twain

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney

Scroll down or through next pages for more funny facebook quotes and also quotes for facebook status and Funny Facebook Likes

Famous funny facebook quotes

Bertrand Russell - "Most people would die sooner than think; in fact, they do."

Jonathan Winters - "I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it."

Richard Bach -
"Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you're alive, it isn't."

Quentin Crisp - "If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."

More of If at first you don't succeed